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Food and Dining

Foodception: Food Within Food Within Food

There are two things in this world that I love more than anything else:

1) Taco Bell nacho cheese
2) Ellen Page movies

I even have this biweekly ritual, every Tuesday and Thursday, where I park in front of the TV and eat $18 worth of Taco Bell while watching the extended director’s cut of “Inception.” This might seem a bit indulgent to some, and medical professionals would probably call it obsessive compulsive, but to me, both represent the perfect actualization of modern American culture.

She’s played so many diverse roles, she’s incredibly humble, and she has the body of work to be considered one of our generation’s best indie actors. And that liquid gold is so decadently salty and spicy and yellow and always piping hot. Taco Bell nacho cheese retains heat better than any substance on Earth. The military needs to weaponize it, immediately.

So I started thinking, why can’t I combine these things? I mean, multimedia entertainment is becoming more and more popular these days, so I should be able to seamlessly combine “Inception” and Taco Bell. But, instead of putting any real thought into it, I just mashed burritos into other burritos and went from there.

Check out these Foodceptions: foods within foods within foods, homie. (more…)

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Food and Dining

Food For Thought: A Diet That Will Help You Ace Your Finals

So you finally figured out how to calculate Taylor Series Expansions. You can recite Vergil in your sleep. But your performance on your final exams depends on more than whether or not you managed to cram well the night before: What you eat while you’re studying before your exam can have significant impact on your performance.

While You’re Studying

Focusing on less exciting topics like abstract algebra and verb conjugations can make anyone willing to brave the devil’s stairs by Café 1919 and swipe for gelato. Anything to sweeten that study session up, right?

Hold it. Put down that Bruin Card.

This is the time for nutritious snacks, which should be some combination of all three macronutrients: protein, carbs, and healthy fats. Whole-grain toast with almond-cashew butter from B-Plate, coupled with a bowl of low-fat greek yogurt would be a fabulous choice.

Macronutrients

You were going to use a swipe anyways, right? These munchies, unlike your anticipated bowl of sugary noms, will keep you energized and on-task. (more…)

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Food and Dining

How To Incorporate More Flamin’ Hot Cheetos Into Your Diet

I don’t feel good. I feel terrible, frankly. This is one of the worst decisions I’ve made in a while, and I make some pretty bad decisions.

Eating Flamin’ Hot Cheetos for every meal seemed like such an air-tight plan: People are going to get a kick out of it, I get to mess around in the kitchen all day, it gives me an excuse to skip class, it’s a win-win for everybody. I had no idea $4 worth of red-dusted corn product could do so much damage, physically, emotionally and otherwise.

It feels like my stomach is eating itself from the inside out, like a starfish getting ready to eat an oyster. I’m 20 minutes away from re-enacting the scene in “Alien” where Sigourney Weaver births the baby Xenomorph, except, in my case, a half-digested, fully sentient Flamin’ Hot Cheeto monster is going to stab through my abdomen and wreak havoc in Westwood, causing mild indigestion for anybody who crosses its path.

Taco John’s – a fast-food joint based out of Wyoming – recently spiced up the food world by debuting its Flamin’ Hot Cheetos Burrito in April of this year. Spicy chorizo, nacho cheese, jalapenos, chile de arbol and an Andre the Giant handful of Flamin’ Hots – that, ladies and gentlemen, is what dreams are made of.

As an homage to Taco John’s I wanted to fully immerse myself in the Flamin’ Hot Cheetos lifestyle, and I took up the immensely important task of mashing the snack food into other foods. Cheers.

(more…)

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