I don’t feel good. I feel terrible, frankly. This is one of the worst decisions I’ve made in a while, and I make some pretty bad decisions.
Eating Flamin’ Hot Cheetos for every meal seemed like such an air-tight plan: People are going to get a kick out of it, I get to mess around in the kitchen all day, it gives me an excuse to skip class, it’s a win-win for everybody. I had no idea $4 worth of red-dusted corn product could do so much damage, physically, emotionally and otherwise.
It feels like my stomach is eating itself from the inside out, like a starfish getting ready to eat an oyster. I’m 20 minutes away from re-enacting the scene in “Alien” where Sigourney Weaver births the baby Xenomorph, except, in my case, a half-digested, fully sentient Flamin’ Hot Cheeto monster is going to stab through my abdomen and wreak havoc in Westwood, causing mild indigestion for anybody who crosses its path.
Taco John’s – a fast-food joint based out of Wyoming – recently spiced up the food world by debuting its Flamin’ Hot Cheetos Burrito in April of this year. Spicy chorizo, nacho cheese, jalapenos, chile de arbol and an Andre the Giant handful of Flamin’ Hots – that, ladies and gentlemen, is what dreams are made of.
As an homage to Taco John’s I wanted to fully immerse myself in the Flamin’ Hot Cheetos lifestyle, and I took up the immensely important task of mashing the snack food into other foods. Cheers.