The quarter is coming to its final weeks, you’re feeling good because midterm season is winding down, and BAM: The professor drops the dreaded words, “Your paper will be due in two weeks.” You sink a little in your chair thinking about the six pages that you will, no matter how badly you don’t want to, eventually write. Everyone has been there, so don’t feel alone. Here are the relatable steps of the grueling paper writing process:
Step 1: Denial
The paper gets assigned and you cringe; this is going to throw your stress-free plans for a loop. But, you shove the assignment sheet into your bag and push it to the back of your mind. “That’s so far in the future,” you think. “I have so much time, it’s all good.”
Step 2: Realization
About two to three days later, you finally realize the implications of this dreaded assignment. Your next week flashes before your eyes: hours at the computer, writer’s block, probably some tears and definitely a loss of sleep.
Step 3: Procrastination
But, nonetheless, you still decide there is all the time in the world to write this paper. I mean you still have 10 days; what’s the fuss about? So, you watch an entire season of “How I Met Your Mother,” have a Harry Potter marathon, pretend you’re as good a dancer as Beyonce, do anything you can think of … except your paper.
Step 4: The “One Week Left” Freak Out
Then finally after your week of blissful ignorance, you find the assignment sheet and have the classic “one week left” moment of panic. You can’t help but feel stupid for not thinking about the assignment at all. So you finally take a moment to look at the assignment prompt and do an outline of the paper.
Step 5: More Procrastination
You feel better about yourself for writing that outline, so you reward yourself with EVEN MORE procrastinating time. AKA reruns of your favorite shows on Netflix.
Step 6: The Struggle
You get down to business finally when you’re three days out from the due date. Your brain just doesn’t seem to work, but you still force yourself to sit there trying, just so you can say that you tried.
Step 7: The Intensely Motivated Stage
Two days to go. Enough said.
Step 8: Proof Reading and Complete Exhaustion
At this point, your paper is written, you’re exhausted, you’re on the 24-hour countdown and it’s a matter of perfecting those pesky citations and checking to make sure you sounded literate when you were on a roll (see step 7). You gotta push through and get that paper perfected, which calls for a lot of caffeine.
Step 9: Celebration & Relief
After weeks of hardships and stress, you have done it! You’ve conquered the battle of the paper. This calls for celebratory dance and a sigh of relief.
Step 10: The Promise to Never Procrastinate Ever Again
…LOL, it so will happen again.