It’s that part of winter quarter again: time to figure out housing. This is the time when your crippling loneliness and social ineptitude is magnified by the need to figure out your roommates for next school year.
We all know the drill when it comes to screening roommates, whether they be current friends or acquaintances, but can you really ask them what you want to know if you’re going to live together? Here are nine questions you probably won’t ask your potential roommates – it wouldn’t hurt, though, to ask their current roommates about them.
1. How often am I going to get sexiled? No, really. How often?
The age-old problem of “sexile”, or sex exile, is something that many of us have to face. Do they have a long-distance significant other, or are they the type to bring someone home after Thursday night at 2 a.m. (when you have an 8 a.m. on Friday)? Consider the amount of sleep, how much you like your potential roommate and if you plan on doing a bit of “sexiling” yourself.
2. What is your tolerance for a pile of really gross and/or moldy dishes? How about if it’s my midterms week?
For those making the move to the apartments or simply moving from one apartment to the next, dirty dishes are an important aspect of cleanliness. They attract flies, may grow mold and build up quickly. Make sure you and your potential roomie are on the same page when it comes to cleaning priorities, especially under the stress of midterms.
3. Nighttime flatulence and/or snoring. What can I expect?
It’s an awkward question no one wants to ask, but given that we’re all human beings who produce methane gas and strange noises, it’s a valid concern.
4. Are you the leader of a new on-campus club without a place to hold meetings?
Maybe your potential roommate is some visionary with an idea, but hasn’t had the foresight to book a room in Ackerman or elsewhere for their weekly meetings. If that’s the case, you should get used to them and 20-plus other people holding court in your living room while you’re trying to study.
5. If at some point I puke on myself or our furniture, are you going to get all holier-than-thou?
For those of us too far removed from our AlcoholEdu days to remember how to pace our drinks, there may come a time when you experience an untimely reversal of fortune. An understanding, or at least tolerant, roommate would be ideal if you would bet money on you having a post-alcohol fit of vomiting in the 2015-2016 academic year.
6. If we share a tandem parking space, how often can I expect to get my car out?
Tandem parking spaces are the only way we can fit all our cars into the North Village apartment area. Unfortunately, they’re also a total pain. If you’re looking into bringing your car on campus, make sure you find someone reliable and reasonable when it comes to sharing, or at least someone you’re comfortable with screaming at when you’re late for your internship and need to get your car out.
7. How forgetful are you when it comes to your financial deadlines?
If you have flaky roommates, keep yourself open to the possibility of being the monthly rent and utilities nag. Or maybe that’s you, who knows? If that’s the case, be ready to be hounded by your more responsible roommate come the end of the month.
8. How often do you plan to throw parties and/or hold get-togethers?
Whether the definition of “party” includes 10 or 50 people, it’s nice to know if you and your roommate are on the same page about how many parties you plan to throw and the exact parameters of that.
9. Are you going to steal my milk, or are you going to steal my milk?