With Halloween right around the corner, I’m having a very hard time deciding on a costume. While I’ve narrowed it down a bit (Harvey Kinkle from “Sabrina, the Teenage Witch,” Blue Ivy and North West’s babysitter or Lance Bass), I don’t think I have the heart to ditch any of these costumes.
Fortunately, UCLA is full of costume parties so I can dress up on multiple occasions. Unfortunately, a lot of these parties don’t have the most inviting themes. One ray of hope was when I heard of an ABC party. “Oh, cool, you teach kids the ABCs using fun, quirky costumes.” That is apparently not what goes down at an “Anything But Clothes” party.
I’ve thought long and hard about this dilemma and have come up with a few ideas for parties that will change Halloween and the uncreative costume party scene forever.
Grandma’s Brisket and Lemony Snicket: “Nothing says sexy like a potluck dinner! You’re invited to the third annual GBLS party, where we discuss which of the Baudelaire children from ‘A Series of Unfortunate Events’ is your fave.”
Hereditary Traits and Secretaries of State: “The great Will.i.am once asked, ‘Where’d you get your body from?’ If you are proud of a trait you got from your mama, now is the time to show it off. Not to worry if you aren’t fond of your connected earlobes, because we would love to see us some John Kerry and Condoleezza Rice – let’s get cray-cray with foreign afay-fay!”
Earthly Tones and Student Loans: “Who needs hot cocoa when you have a warm color palette? We want this place looking like a straight desert, so come on over to huddle in a circle and cry together as we realize how much money we owe. We recycle here, so all of the tears collected in a bucket will be used for ‘bobbing for apples!’”
Morse Code and Fully Clothed: “Beep boop beep boop. If you don’t know what that means, then you should totally stop by my place tonight. It’s going to be an action-packed night filled mostly with deciphering antique Morse code messages. No cheaters allowed, so as a precaution please arrive completely covered. This way, nobody can write messages on their bodies. There’s going to be lots of cool people with absolutely nothing inappropriate or fun about them, so come on over!”
Happy Halloween. You’re welcome.