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The Rarities of Zero Week

Zero week is a very special occasion. What makes this week different from all other weeks? Withschool starting and all of the pressures that come with it, the population of UCLA tends to resort to irrational behaviors. There are loads of adorable freshmen with lost looks and a few soon to be graduating seniors with equally lost looks. Fortunately for everyone, these bizarre actions should wear off after a week or so. For the time being, they are unavoidable. Below is a list of what to be on the look out for. You won’t see things like this again until next year.

Lingering parents:

Before the 24-hour party commences, students must keep up their academic facade because parents will be everywhere. Even if you’re not yet experiencing separation anxiety, your parents are, so throw them a bone and go easy on them. Parents will overstay their welcome. If you see middle-aged women wearing camouflage suits and hiding in the bushes, just keep walking – they’re simply looking out for their kids. That being said, don’t fall for their fibs! Whether your mom’s “flight was cancelled” or your dad’s “work needs him to stay on campus” or your grandmother’s “car broke down and she needs to stay in your dorm and she would love to borrow a toothbrush and some jammies,” it’s crucial you let them down easy. Luckily, only about a fourth of the student population will have to deal with this, as everyone else’s parents practically enforce a jump-and-roll drop off procedure.

Smiles in the dining halls:

Suea ChoWhat you’ll learn soon enough is that UCLA dining has pretty decent food. Regardless, you are going to get sick of it and Fat Sal’s may become your new BFFFLBIRRG (Best Food Friend For Life Because It’s Really Really Good). So, as you walk around and see smiles left and right in De Neve, don’t get too used to it. These amateurs will have those smiles wiped right off their faces and tears may start to flow with each shrimp taco they chow down on after four consecutive Wednesdays spent in Rendezvous.

Young Love:

Casey Bradford / Daily BruinIt’s no secret that we are members of a beautiful campus. Wide eyes tend to drift and catch the look of a possible love interest. If it doesn’t happen to you, it will happen to your roommate. Premature couples will be forming everywhere around you. Those two from that party you went you? Holding hands. The two that giggled simultaneously during your floor’s icebreaker? Smoochin’ in the library. Those two that made brief eye contact in passing outside of the post office? Wedding invitations are in the mail, sent romantically from the ever-so-significant post office. Not to fear, once the honeymoon is over and they learn slightly more about each other, your roommate’s sleepover buddy will be out of your life.

Open Doors:

Before Netflix becomes your one and only priority, people will be leaving their doors open for you to introduce yourself. Don’t let their overcompensation of room decorations throw you off. A poster of two half naked girls Eskimo kissing shouldn’t define a man for the rest of the year (it’s coming down after a week.) Pictures of a best friend that you’ll probably never equate to everywhere can’t dissuade you from making a new friend. The “Snow Dogs” era Cuba Gooding Jr. bobble head on his desk isn’t necessarily a telltale sign that … OK, maybe avoid that one.


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